I'm frustrated. It's not good.
Jason calls me every morning on his first break (8-8:15). Usually, I'm driving at that time. Lately, I've been coming into work earlier (getting here at 7:30 or so) and so I'd be sitting at my desk, on my cell phone when he calls. We don't really talk about anything much but it's just nice that he does that, right?
ALSO, lately I've been setting an alarm to wake me up at 4:25 am when he's driving to work so I can call and say good morning and tell him to have a good day. It's weird to disturb my slumber every night, but I like that he likes it, so I do it anyway. Usually it's like a 2 minute phone call and I fall right back to sleep so no big thang. I've been doing it for about 2 weeks now.
For some reason 2 days ago, my phone stopped making an audible ring when I have it set to do that. So, if someone called, it wouldn't ring or vibrate - just light up. So yesterday I didn't wake up to my alarm cause it didn't make any noise. So no "drive to work" phone call. Then when I got to work early, my phone was in my coat pocket and didn't make any noise again when he called and I didn't realize it was "that time" so I missed talking to him on his break. I sent text messages so he knew I knew about it, and managed to get my phone to make noise again. We talked for a second at his final break and then on the way home and again after a meeting I had last night.
I called this morning on his way to work - we talked. It was fine. I got to work early and was in the middle of a conversation when he called at 8:02. I finished talking and called him back at 8:07. He asked why I would bother callling at the end of his break.
Not at the fact it wasn't the end of his break. Not at the fact that he might be joking about something that obviously wasn't my intention. Just at the fact that it rubbed me the wrong way and now that I'm in a funk. I snapped at a co-worker and just am annoyed in general.
I hate that things get to me like that.
How do I go about communicating to him how I'm feeling when I'm restricted to using the words "like", "care", and "heart". (We don't say "love" yet. I know, I know...don't get me started) I'm a writer, too, damn it! I should be able to communicate it and I can't. I don't know why. It's so frustrating. Geez
I need candy.