Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Day 4 (of 30)

So today is Day 4.
Day 3 was about a million times harder than Day 2.
This is supposed to be getting easier, I thought. Arg.
So I took my car in yesterday morning and picked up my rental car (with the help of my dad) and I was having a ROUGH morning - just thinking "He's really over this" - proof being Saturday with him saying in one breath how hard this all was and in the next that it needs to be like this.
I just don't get it.
I'm not understanding and that's the worst part about all this. I'm realizing that I'm still completely in denial - last week I was trying to be better, but the reality is that I still hope it's him every time my phone rings. I still hope at the end of these 30 days he'll want to try again. I still don't believe it's over.
I think I'm fooling myself.
I just love him so much. SO MUCH. I am struggling with imagining life without him and am not enjoying that I'm supposed to be preparing for that. I just don't see him in this - he's not this kind of person. I just don't get it.
So yeah...rough morning.
I was scheduled to go in for my LASIK evaluation (see if I'm a candidate) next week but need to go in sooner to change my Flex Spending to account for the cost. So I called. They asked if I was wearing my contacts yesterday. I said yes.
Evidently, you're not supposed to wear your contacts for 7 days leading up to the evaluation. That would have been nice for them to tell me.
So they were telling me they have openings sooner, but that they can't schedule me if I've been wearing my contacts. I begged and pleaded...they said they'd call me back.
Then the guy called from the shop where I left my car. Oh the estimate that was 1/2 of what I expected? They left stuff out. It was now going to be $500 more.
I cried.
A lot.
I called my dad and talked things through - then I started realizing that while it sucks to have everything go wrong all at once, at least it's not spread out? I don't know. Something needs to be positive in there.
Then the LASIK people called back. I can go in Friday and find out what type of surgery/how much it will be, but I might need to go in AGAIN after I have not worn contacts for 7 days so they can get accurate measurements (evidently that's affected by wearing contacts).
So that worked out.
So now I just need Jason to tell me he wants to get back together....oh wait... :(
This just sucks.

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