Sunday, August 05, 2007

Learning (the hard way)

This weekend was rough, and as hard as it is to admit, it was mostly my fault. I'm coming to grips with the fact that I have a bad temper. And I tend to yell when I'm annoyed/irritated/etc. So when Jason does something really trivial, it ends up being a huge deal because I start yelling and I lose my cool. This weekend was a great example. I actually almost lost him because of it. :(

We ended up working things out with a few solutions, some seeming random but making sense. He will work harder to participate in things I like to do, I will work on my attitude, temper and volume, we will both start working out, and I will act more like a lady. (that last one was spawned by a suggestion I made a few weeks ago, and brought up again. That's the most random one for us right now.) It was a really hard thing to go through, but we made it. We're both at the point where we are scared to leave things how they've been but we're scared to take them to the next level and we've tried not talking about that and it hasn't worked. So me erupting (bad) resulting in us talking through some things (not easy, but good) and things seem better now. Things are better. We'll make it through.

It's interesting for me to question things because I'm not questioning US I'm questioning myself. I learn a lot about myself but I try to ignore it and point fingers at other people. It's worked (sometimes) in the past, but Jason sees through it and can gently and lovingly show me what I'm doing. Again, it's hard, but it's helping. I don't understand his patience, but I appreciate it like you wouldn't believe.

I ended up taking Thursday and Friday of this week off. Nothing exciting, just getting some appointments and things out of the way. (Exciting things like the dentist, hair dresser, massage, oil change, and eye doctor.) I have been needing to get back into scrapping but feel really overwhelmed lately so have been putting it off but hope that this week/weekend might allow some time for that.

With working out, there's a pool about a mile from my house and a friend of mine really wants to start swimming there, but umm...I don't know how. Like I can get from point A to point B, but I don't do it properly, gracefully, or quickly, so it's not all that fun. I would love that type of workout cause I hate hate hate being hot and the people I housesit for have a pool too so that makes things easy, but I need to learn how to swim. They teach adult classes but they start in a week and registration is supposed to be in a week early. I will call tomorrow and see if I can register in person. Maybe I will be a swimmer afterall. :)

I've been watching Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy ...I really want to see Bourne Ultimatum. One of the things Jason and I talked about him participating in is my absolute adoration of movies (especially in the theater). Hopefully the action and rave reviews will convince him to see it with me, but who knows. Today we went to see The Simpsons movie - Jason's family loves that and I love movies in the theater - it was fun. I was SHOCKED at some of the stuff in it - showing like 2 seconds of Bart's "genitaila" and bongs, and stuff like that, but it was funny.

My class is almost done too - it finishes this week!! It's kinda frustrating - I don't "participate" as much as I'd like to in the online discussions because 1/2 the questions people ask are RIDICULOUS. I feel like they are asking questions with obvious answers just to up the number of posts they have overall, but I don't want to trivialize their questions (which comes naturally based on how dumb some of them come across) but I haven't been posting much so I hope my grade is okay. She hasn't graded anything past week 3 (this is week 7) so I have no idea how I'm doing other than the fact that I had full points for the first 3 weeks. We'll see...

That's all..I need to go to bed now. My sleep cycle's been all out of whack and it's driving me nuts!

until next time...

1 comment:

Tamara Nicole said...

Becky! I found you . . . With your help;-) yeah for you guys trying to improve and take things to the next level, it's hard, but it'll be good to push the relationship and see what happens! Hope things are well! Can't wait to see some scrappin