Monday, April 14, 2008

5:1 (and other thoughts)

So I was reading other people’s blogs and whining to myself about how people haven’t updated in like 5 days and what’s the hold up? Then I realized haven’t updated in like 10. Whoops. My apologies.

This past week has been interesting, with most of it becoming really clear to me yesterday.

Rewind: I started casually dating again and have since realized I don’t want to casually date. But I don’t think I would have realized that had I not tried it.

Before I went out with anyone, I had noticed a new church built in Bellevue right next to BCC called “Champions Centre” – I knew I’d heard of that church before, thought it was funny to build a church where they did (literally you turn into BCC’s campus and it’s next to the gas station right there. Odd) but didn’t think much about it.

Then I went out with a guy that happened to go to their main campus in Tacoma. I looked more into the church (good to know what the other person believes) and liked what I saw. Regardless of this guy, I wanted to go there. So on the 6th, I did. (with some friends). We actually went to the Tacoma church first, and I didn’t like it cause it was HUGE, but I liked the pastor and the church as a whole. (oh and the guy fell off the face of the planet. Which I’m okay with.)
Yesterday we went to the Bellevue campus and I loved it. Much more my size (it might hold like 300 people max) and still the same pastor and type of service.

The pastor talked about the power of the tongue. It’s funny, cause I really don’t feel like I got NEW information (growing up in church, you hear the same verses for the same topics) but I like how he worded it. And I needed that right now. He talked about being positive and not being sarcastic, the pointlessness of talking problems to death (“Hello, Becky. This is God talking to you”) and that relationships need a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative comments (minimum!) to work – even as friendships! So I put this on my phone as a reminder since I’m near my phone all day:

Oh, and as we were leaving we noticed this sign on the end of our row – ha!
We actually went out to lunch with the leader of the Young Adults group, her husband and about 9 other people – I am so glad we did. I had a lot of fun, didn’t feel like the focus was on the “new people” but that we weren’t left out, and it was just a quality group of people. They have a Young Adults service on Wednesdays at their Tacoma campus that I want to check out, but I’m worried I will really like it and then have to drive a lot. :)

After that I hung out with my friends that had gone with me, which was a lot of fun. I kept thinking about the phrase “Show me your friends and I will show you your future” and really started to think about 2 of the guys I was “casually” talking to and that they just weren’t good. So I told them I wasn’t going to talk to them anymore, giving the excuse that I thought I needed more time before I start dating again and that I wasn’t sure that it would work between us in the future. One didn’t really understand how I came to that conclusion but seemed okay with it, and the other called me names. Mean names. A lot of names. The only thing I said to him in response was “thank you for proving I made the right choice”.

So…honestly, that wasn’t easy, but I’m finding myself trying to focus on the positives – making sure my thoughts to myself are at least 5:1, too. That should be a challenge, but I want to be up for it!! (As my dad would say “you have to want to want to change”)
Let’s see…what else...
It was gorgeous on Saturday. I took this picture from Courtney's in-laws back porch (on my camera phone):
The only problem? I was not on the lake. :)

LASIK went well. My vision is better now than it was with contacts, but they said it still won’t be perfect for at least another week or two while my eyes continue to heal. I got some burst blood vessels on my eyes from it (totally normal) and I was told they look “gnarly”.

I did not win my Richest Loser competition. Jason did. He beat me by 1.3%. That. Sucked. I found this out 2 days after my LASIK (when they also put plugs in my tear ducts to help with the dry eyes people usually get afterwards) and when I started crying (after I left finding out I didn’t win) no tears came out. It was a WEIRD feeling. Now it’s kinda funny. Not so funny at the time. ;)

All in all, for the competition I lost 46.4 pounds. In 3 months. Since then, I’ve hit the 50 pound mark. I’m really proud of myself for what I did, but I also realized through all of this that I had the wrong motives entirely, so as strange as it is to admit, I’m not surprised I lost (God teaching me a lesson). I realized that my wanting to win was wanting to rub my success in the faces of other contestants and that was mean and vengeful and just not good all around. So I proved I was dedicated, got a good start and now it’s up to me. It’s not proving anything to anyone but me. As it should have been. (Live and Learn)

I’ve been baking a lot lately. I really want to make these now.

And last but not least, I wanted a new quote for the week and remembered this one from SATC:
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

And, in looking to make sure I got the wording right, found all these other ones that I just want to have. Let them minister to you (ha)

That's the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don't need them anymore.
When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with...

The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends.

Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?

After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh

I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.
(Hey, that was like a 20:1 ratio) ;)

1 comment:

Brandon said...

5:1, i like that. I need to follow that concept. Congrats on the richest loser. I wish I had your strong will.