C& D / Car Stuff / Day 2 of 30

So my C's and D's are a little...off... I'm going C, D, C okay? :)

First C: Crying. Lots of it. Let's leave it at that.

First D: Dark Hair/Hair Dye - I got my hair done on Saturday - highlights and lowlights...it turned out a little darker and streakier than I would have wanted, but overall it's not all that different. Sad. Maybe next time I'll go for all over dirty blonde....

Second C: Getting my CAR fixed!! I rear-ended someone a long time ago (no real damage to their car, but their tow package went through my bumper) and have been saving to get my car fixed. Here's what it looks like now:

Dented hood and holey bumper:

I had planned to use my tax refund to get the hood and bumper I had painted and put on the car, and had a "golden number" in mind for how much I would be expecting to pay. The estimate was half that. No joke. (YAY!!!)

So then I had them take a look at the back of my car - in 2004 my car got hit in a mall parking lot and got some damage, then a few months ago, the door for the garage I park in closed on my car (!!!) and they won't fix it because the contract we sign to park there waives liability. Arg. So they looked at this (mostly paint scuffs, but some spider cracks):

So they added this onto the orignial quote and I'm still paying $250 LESS than I expected. YAY!! They are starting to paint the hood and bumper today, I take my car in tomorrow so they can put them on the car, finish painting, do the back and blend, pick it up Wednesday and then am getting a tune up on Thursday too. Since everything was so much less I get to have a rental car too. Yay. :)

Friday night Jason and I had been talking about the plan for taking my car and parts in to the shop and we were having fun just talking as friends. He kept commenting that I seemed to be doing really well - I felt like I was. Saturday morning we met up to get the parts and take them down (needed his brother's truck) and things went great. So of course I pushed it and wanted to hang out Saturday night too. That didn't go well at ALL. Ended up with me realizing I was no where near over him, still definitely have feelings, am still very very hurt - of course a bunch of tears and a tough conversation to figure all of this out.

I told him I needed to impose a 30-day no contact order. (I read about it in my book- they called it a "He-tox" to get him out of your system). That seemed like the worst idea ever even though I knew it was something we needed to do. It'd been 15 days of all of this and the longest we had gone without talking was just shy of 48 hours. So I called him and told him all of this and said something that surprised both him and me - that I hope nothing happens like what did with his grandpa, but even if it does, he needs to not contact me.

I cried. A lot.

Sundays suck. I wake up and everyone in my house is at church and I can't force myself to sleep as long as it will take for them to come back. So I was watching tv and feeling horrible and my friend Natalie called. She's been wanting to get signed up for kickboxing and was calling to find out when we could do her intro class - she came over and talked to me about everything until we left for that. She is doing really well - it's all confusing and you seem so uncoordinated at first, but she'll do great.

She doesn't get off work until 5:30 and can't get to the studio for the 6pm class, so she and I will be going to the 7pm class, which means we won't have to be there with Jason, Jenn and Clint, but that we will see them in passing. I'm kinda dreading that - kinda not. It will be good to have her with me and to not have it just be me and him or anything, but...I don't know.

I want to get back together with him so badly. Why does this have to hurt so much? Why is it so much more than I can control? I hate this. :(